In Celebration of the Men in My Life…

Because the Word “Father” Is Not Enough

There have been numerous moments in my life when I was a child and young adult where it was a physical and psychological struggle to cope with and survive the cruel brutal experiences I’ve encountered at the hands of men.

As the saying goes, “keep living”.

This Father’s Day I celebrate all the men in my life who have helped me heal from those soul-snatching moments. The word “father” is just not enough to identify all of the people I have encountered in my life who also happen to be men. To all of the men in my life (my father, stepfather, nephews, cousins, uncles, family friends, colleagues, and total strangers), however brief my moment was with you, know that your regard, your value of, and your respect for me as a human being has given me the courage to heal.

Although my father came into my life when I was a young adult, his presence answered so many questions I was desperate to know. No one seemed to have the answers I needed to know in a way that made sense to me. Allowing myself to be open to developing a relationship with my father helped me understand who I was as a person, as a daughter, and as a woman. He helped me understand my need to value and nurture the different types of relationships in my life. You see, I discovered that I am My Father’s Daughter.

I am also so in awe of my nephews and cousin. They consciously stepped into fatherhood and evolved into parents. They are protective, mentally and emotionally engaged and fiercely nurturing present parents. Since they are also wickedly driven to be successful, I often worried that they would become “Cats in the Cradle” daddies. Thankfully, my worry about the quality of their relationship with their children was needless.

I celebrate the men in my life because I value every effort and act of kindness — spoken or gestured, every moment of care and regard, joy, laughter, and tears, every conversation — both silent and vocal, and constructive character-building conflict, and every soul-replenishing hug, hand-hold, butterfly kiss, nudge, or glance, that you so selflessly shared with me through the years. These treasured moments are constant reminders that inspire me to have the courage to forgive without regret, to not burden my current existence with the armor of bitterness and to not emotionally hide behind the excuse of comfortably familiar pain and anguish.

My moments with you in my life, however brief, help me celebrate my human experience on the planet.

To all of the men in my life,

Thank you.